6 months

ive seen some of your reposts. why do i still occasionally check them? i dont know. i hate that i do. a few of them are about me, or at least thats what it feels like. that i was horrible, that i changed. i dont see it. i genuinely dont. because i gave you everything. everything i had. i dropped interviews with news sites just to hang out with you for a few hours. i dropped literally the most important things in my life, whatever it was, i dropped it, because you mattered more. there was nothing i wouldnt do for you. i gave you money when you didnt have any. i helped you cope with the self harm, and you said yourself that it helped. i would do so much, its hard to even put it all into words here, but there was nothing \"too much\" when it came to you. nothing was ever too much. and then out of nowhere, minutes after telling me how much you loved me, the message came. just like that. you had completely lost all feelings for me. thats all i got. 6 months, and thats all i got. i dont understand it. i still dont. i probably never will. i guess it hurts knowing youre gone. ive accepted it a little, but not entirely. it feels like a missing piece, right in the middle of my chest, and it just sits there. and what makes it hurt even more is seeing how much you seem to hate me now, because i genuinely dont know what i did. youre spreading rumors about things i supposedly did, things that arent true, and its ruining friendships, making school feel like somewhere i cant even be anymore. and then you got together with a friend of mine on top of all that. i dont even know what to say to that. i feel empty. its almost like i wanna just write your tiktok and snapchat username here for everyone to know your character and find you online, but i know i cant. its just so tempting though. your friends keep spam adding me on snapchat. i wont add them back, i know exactly why theyre doing it, and i know what theyre going to say, the same stuff that isnt even real. i know things dont last forever. i know that. but i wouldve wished it lasted a bit longer, or at least that it didnt end like this. not like this. i miss the old you. you changed. i thought i actually knew you, but i dont know who you are anymore. what did i ever actually do to you? you kept reassuring me, kept telling me i was the best thing that ever happened to you. was that a lie? was any of it real..?