To: Neil
you probably hate me now
To: Neil
Neil, there's a ton of things I wish I could've said than just the one night we had our heart to heart. I never want to lose you, truly.
To: Neil
Luckily you got away from that one. What a nightmare.
To: Neil
Holy yapfest anyways doubt you'll see this because you couldn't really care less anymore - I don't know how I feel currently about you, but I do care
To: Neil
-I should I dunno try for myself for once. Like just typing that made me feel evil - that just shows my point
To: Neil
you don't worsen it but it's still hard. I'll try for someone else but not for myself and that's just sad and I hate that - I really don't want to but
To: Neil
I have severe PTSD that I've been working on and improving - it's so tiring always making progress around people who set me back or worsen it - u dont
To: Neil
I also wish you would have rejected me then - but you do uuu queen
To: Neil
I realllllly need to get my life together - I just hate how I view you vs myself. none of its unrealistic - I realistically dislike myself, and like u
To: Neil
I thought I had really good self respect and all that stuff but guess not? it's like I care about you but not myself at all, which may be true, eugh
To: Neil
It's lowk bad that I can't imagine my life without you - especially since I know you probably would I dunno mby feel a little sad for a few months orr
To: Neil
So much yap ik, I dunno what to say though because there's so much - and talking to you.. I just don't feel like. I feel sick to my stomach
To: Neil
Was I a victim a lot in my life? yeah. Am I responsible for not ruining my life? yeah....I'm always scared and no one understands -but most ppl relate
To: Neil
But it's not your fault I'm insane - I've been holding on to our friendship for so long, I make everyone else a priority but myself. It ruined my life
To: Neil
I don't even know what my own friend thinks of me - I have spent so long thinking of you, wanting closure, a conversation - but youre so avoidant
To: Neil
So many questions. I've spent the last year very sad because this all could have been avoided if you were honest - I dont know what to do
To: Neil
Though I liked you, well loved, I'm not really into that stuff like others, or you - Our friendship meant so much to me
To: Neil
I also think you care for me a lot, which is what makes this soo confusing. I'm starting to think I'm another girl to you and not a person
To: Neil
I don't hate you - don't dislike you, I feel hurt. you abandoned me over and over - say things that never show in your actions - why?
To: Neil
I think my care for you has clouded my judgement about you
To: Neil
I would be stupid to forget all of those things, which I am. I don't know if I want to be friends? I don't think I want to be with you anymore either
To: Neil
I will never forget when you abandoned me - your friend, for your ex. and all those other things.
To: Neil
I'm really glad you still want to be my friend, well surprised but glad - I hope your problems aren't such a burden I'm sorry I always was
To: Neil
and you probably won't see this but I think the world of you and I hope you have an amazing life !!
To: Neil
I feel like our friendship is ruined and it's all my fault and I feel bad that I liked you.
To: Neil
you broke my heart but that's okay
To: neil
hi baby. we met this summer. another girl here complains about you. hope u didn't cheat.
To: Neil
My mind still conjures you. Take care, always.
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