To: Ocean
I havent been here in a while, I think Im done writing to a pseudonym. Our correspondence and forth has been interrupted here by strangers. 0222
To: Ocean
For you nostalgia and Forgiveness are endless.
To: Ocean
I dont want you to put your life on pause for nothings more than maybe, I shouldnt have been writing in the first place.
To: Ocean
This affair was exciting and Id be lying to say I dont miss you, but cant you see this is wrong for me to do? Did you not think I had done this to you
To: Ocean
I like to follow things I know are wrong, I like to escape from the consequences. Im not of sound mind to just tilt a life plan thats not just my own.
To: Ocean
Before you had responded I planned to make a sound, rational exit from this relationship. Reconsider my life, now i foolishly believe in running away.
To: Ocean
This place was rhetorical to me, this has been such a strange time for me. Ive used your responses to escape from problems I should at least try at.
To: Ocean
Maybe years ago I would have taken you up, but this is not a novel and my life is complicated. Im too complicated to make these decisions on my own.
To: Ocean
I read everything and sleep on the response, I hope each time I wake up with enough sense to not respond and maybe move on, I dont know what to do.
To: Ocean
Im sorry I didnt grow into a better person but Im glad that we had a connection I truly cant love anyone more than my own entertainment
To: Ocean
No, you dont get it Im about to do the same thing I did to you, to another boy. My love has a shelf life. And Im obsessed with running away.
To: Ocean
Youre a fantasy I cannot shake, cannot make come true. I use others to seek something like it, but Im too scared to be the one who ruins it all again.
To: Ocean
This would all be so much more simple if either of us could draw a hard line and stick to it, or have a spine enough to say something substantial.
To: Ocean
I feel so complex and yet so simple. I love you but I cant rectify the place Ive found myself I made decisions that made all this so impossible.
To: Ocean
Do you have the stomach for the mortification I know will come if I being to speak of you again? This silent ledger is my only outlet for the feelings
To: Ocean
I have been here all along and now I have to wonder have you been too? Where have you kept a your things Unsaid? Havent i tried?
To: Ocean
Now you have spoken my name here, have you plotted to drive me mad? Is now the time you finally call back to my insane ramblings?
To: Ocean
ever since I blew up our relationship I have done nothing but cling to those who let me stay around now all I do is miss you. I cant keep doing this.
To: Ocean
Will you reflect my moonlight just a little longer?
To: Ocean
Im so sorry, I expected nothing but transparency from you, while all I could do was evade and doge, I suppose the moon is only. Reflection on earth
To: Ocean
I look at what you called me on every site, I feel so mocked by every message. I wish I was better than that but Im petty and obsessive. Im sorry.
To: Ocean
I regret my pull on you the same way I regret pushing you. I wish we were more balanced, more true to the Moon and Tides. This life is too turbulent.
To: Ocean
I still think about the conversations we had just before it all started going downhill, do you go to that restaurant and think of me? I cant eat crab
To: Ocean
Now that Im in your shoes I wish I was more understanding but I suppose it was never in my nature. Even now Ive decided to hide you behind a moniker.
To: Ocean
When will I learn I will always make my way back to you. Even after every attempt to move inland, my heart drags me back out to sea. Its relentless.
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