To: piku
privately. I just needed to get it off my chest. Im sorry. I guess i miss u more than i let myself admit.
To: piku
telling you how much I miss what we had, but then I realized that I might make you uncomfortable, so I decided to write here instead of messaging you
To: piku
Its 5 a.m. right now, and I just woke up from a nightmare about you. In it, I was looking for you. I was this close to messaging you directly and
To: piku
oh, its been exactly a year since i wrote my first message on this site addressed to you. i like this coincidence. with love, lubovachka
To: piku
just my wish, dont take it to heart. hope youre good. hope Kostik okay too, tell that kitty hes a great husband.
To: piku
this year ill start university. i wish i could start my first year with you, like it was during my first year in college.
To: piku
im not afraid of being alone. ive already lost u, so it feels like theres nothing left to lose. you often appear in my dreams, nicole.
To: piku
i cut off communication with many people in my life, and i keep wondering what you felt back then when you stopped talking to me. did u feel at peace?
To: piku
ive forgotten your voice. i wonder if its still that soft and gentle. i miss it. ive really started to forget a lot, and i feel lost.
To: piku
idk if i still love u,but i think about you every day,and honestly it exhausts me.ive been having some insomnia.its hard to fall asleep without u
To: piku
oh well maybe writing this on a site 1.5 years after the breakup is a silly idea, but this is for me. i just wanted to be heard by you.
To: Piku
You kinda cool guy, but too rude-J
To: Piku
Boy you're annoying
To: Piku
That would be more honest and fair to me
To: Piku
..make the pain worse. If you don’t want to rebuild our connection or relationship, it’s better not to say anything at all than to give me false hope
To: Piku
I see your apology, but it doesn’t make me feel any better. Everything I’ve been through over these months has been too hard, and your words only.....
To: Piku
I still love you the same, I’ve never loved this much, but I didn’t know that my feelings would hurt me this much
To: Piku
When I think about the words I said during our fight, I feel disgusted. It feels like I’m a terrible person. I can’t forgive myself for that.
To: Piku
These 7 months I’ve been trying to cope—sometimes it got easier, but then it got so bad that I just sank even lower. It’s a terrible feeling
To: Piku
Maybe you won’t see this, but I feel bad without you. It’s like I’ve lost something important, air, without which it’s hard to move forward
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