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Messages Found: NaN
I might need real profesional help, I just really cant do it anymore, yairy.
Also I dont want to do it because I have 2 smaller brothers. They see me as an example, I have a loving family. But i just cant do it anymore
For me there is nothing after death. Doesnt mean eternal rest, doesnt mean hell or heaven. Just nothing. that scares me a bit
I think this is all my fault for never telling the things i feel, for not crying when i need it, for not getting mad, for not getting sad
but then next night i will be feeling the same, Its been like this for some days. And it scares me, Im a coward
despite that, i feel it coming soon yairy i feel like im not staying any longer. Maybe its just the moment, i dont know, I will be fine by the morning
Death is everywhere, I should not be scared, its the only thing we have promised. But im scared of missing out life. What if this feeling is temporal
and last week also was weird, a school friend's mom died, and two days later an school friend passed too. Made me remember how fragile we are
but I didnt wanted to get involved in legal problems, I truly felt scared during those lasts days. I didnt even wanted to go to uni. I was so scared
a girl harassed me at uni, I thought because of im a man that those things difnt happen but i thought wrong. I thought of reporting her
there is a thing I told nobody except for a friend
I dont really want to go, but sometimes im just at the border
I maybe just need to take a break from it all and rest a bit. Maybe and I hope that just that will be enough for me
but I really cannot tell qhat im capable of doing the next day, week, or month. I want to get hospitalized or interned.
And I dont want to go, at least not yet, I still want to give life a chance, I know there are beautiful things somewhere
I dont want to worry no one, but i just couldnt hold it and told a friend, I feel like im standing on a fine line, just moments away from falling
im so scared because i really feel it, whenever I feel like this I never told anyone, I always keep it for myself, but this time it was just too much
I have been in vacation for like 2 weeks and i still have a month left, but im so tired. Im really really tired I just cant do it anymore
you know im a coward, im not capable of doing anything to put an end to it. But im really unaware of what im capable of
like im not going to stand here any longer, but i feel it so real, i feel like im really getting short in time, im scared of myself
Its very late, almost 4 am but i just cant sleep and i have been like this for days yairy, i have this weird feeling like
dont be embarrassed for something like that, things like that happen, that is normal yairy, its okay
i didnt answer to your messages before because i didnt saw them esrlier. Im sorry
I cant stop looking at your profile every single day, everyday at least one time I check on it and I cant understand why I keep doing this
i wonder if those 2 last messages under my name are from you, please let me know
im really sorry for that, i wouldnt disrespect you yairy, there is no reason to disrespect anyone, im sorry
and im sorry if i disrespected you in any way i could possibly do, i didnt knew i did and i didnt meant to yairy
thats my priority, then just to stay alive, manage my money to buy things to cook and toiletries
my only priorities for now its just to study and pass my classes, i cannot fail a single class because im studying with a tuition waiver
If im not wrong, we are both living far from home and alone, we are starting to face adult life and that make us more busy indeed
Im sorry too, for taking long to respond, I would explain with detail but i fell like its not necessary, we are both facing a universitary career
im not saying that u are more busy than me or the other way, its not a competition to know who is more busy but i really understand
thanks you for answering to me even if i dont deserve it, i really appreciate it, i know we are both busy but maybe its different
there is like no needs to "be friends so bad" with her, we are just friends, is just as simple as that
she is from another city, we cant go out whenever we want, when we do is because there is the opportunity, and we are just friends
im sorry if i tookt the thing in ur bio personal, maybe i did i dont really remember but i did thought it was reefering to me
and thanks you for wishing me good luck with my exams, I wish you good luck too yairy, I do wish you the best, take care
I do not have intentions with no one and I will not have, Im really just not insterested in anything. Im just exhausted
Maybe it is indeed not for me or anything, but that was just after posting a story with her, she just was around my city for the day with her mom
ik you dont care, but she keeps being my friend and she will be my friend, why do i say this again?, I do because in ur bio u put 'ur a phony loser'
its okay if you want to stop messaging here, I kinda expected it. I do take long to respond but This last 2 weeks were so heavy. Im sorry
Its okay then, just in case I wanted to let you know
Im sorry I didnt check for a message for 4 days. I had an exam week, something like that, I still have 2 more tomorrow and 2 more for next week
I just wanted to tell u that the story i uploaded ysterday, I dont know that person, just some random saw my draw and mentioned me in his or her story
Then we went to a pretty place to eat breakfast together while we talked. Waking up felt like getting stabbed in the back
You then said sorry and begin talking to me because I was just sleeping. I said its okay it was my fault then we started talking, and we went shopping
I slept in a place of the house you could see me, like near the kitchen. When you saw me you got scared and u punched me
I say that because now im living 7 or 8 hours away from my home. When I discovered you where living in the same place as me I did something
I dreamt about us re encountering and talking again, in person. You moved here and we where living in the same place without knowing
I dreamt about you last night
She said that it was strange that someone that doesnt follow her checked her stories that much, and I think she blocked you, I didnt told her to do it
She went surprised and said that she thought u where a friend of a friend of her because she said u follow a guy that is her friend
She sent ur profile and said that 'she' (you) is checking everything she posts for months now, And I told her 'its my ex'
its 3pm and she just randomly sent me your profile, I havent asked her or talked to her abt u and she just sent me ur profile
But I wont ask her yet, I want to know if its okay for you to me to ask her. I really want to know why she checked ur profile and how
Im thinking that maybe your account just appeared as a recommendation on her feed, I will ask her bc I want to know too
She obviously knows who you are, but I didnt know that she knew about ur ig account, bc I have never mentioned anything about your acc to her
Sorry yairy i really didnt know, like I thought you may refeer to her but I was not that sure. I didnt know that she was the one that saw ur profile
my last reposted video in tiktok is the one I want you to see, you will like it
but idk, this one made me feel like I should send it to you because I want u to see it, but I cant send you things so I will repost it for you to see
I was watching tiktok and i saw this one that remembered me to you, not a weird thing, happens a lot, a lot of tiktoks make me remember of you
And Im refeering to male and female friends yairy, and they may not know your name and if they know your face its bc when u where my phone wallpaper
like not a lot, but my friends who I have told about you after there is just like 2, the others know you from before, when we still used to talk
and reefering to the last message, does who knows who you are yairy?, a lot of friend knows who you are
by my last message i meant if do you think that all the messages on this page with your name on it will be forever only from me to you
do you really haven't watched it too? i thought you did, i also haven't watched wicked yet
It may be stupid but do you remember when we saw squid game together and we said that we would watch new seasons together
will all the messages under your name forever be only from me (leaving aside the answers from a stranger)
I sometimes think about all the things we didn't get to do together and i wish we could've done them
I still haven't watched the new 2 seasons, I thought about it yesterday and I just wanted to let you know
It may be dumb but do you remember when we saw squid game together and we said that we would watch new seasons together
Im sorry for answering late, I studied yesterday for an exam I had today
but who is the one you said saw ur posts?, btw johan did not said anything, he just told me and sent me a screenshot about it
by any chance did you checked her story or something? maybe thats the reason yairy, if you did. If you didnt then tell me who did that. I want to know
wait what, who? no one has mentioned me anything about you yairy, johan did once, he showed me that you saw his story once, but just him
whenever you post literally anything
I honestly love whenever you post
yairy i wanted to make you know, just because. Im really scared of losing any type of contact with you and never know anything about you again
im really sorry again, for making you wait for a reply for so long, i never meant to yairy, im sorry
but the message keep being the same, i do want you
I probably said it referring to a repost of yours or even maybe something you wrote but I honestly dont remember
im so sorry for not answering before, I checked daily and I never saw your message im really sorry yairy
I do want you
I wish you're doing good today yairy, I will be waiting for your answer. Im sorry again for how I used to act yairy. I will not forgive myself
for now I wish you luck on your college assignments, I have another exam tomorrow but i think it will be easier, I will study just a bit
Dont worry for that yairy, its okay and I understand it, reefering to the message where you say that u wrote that when u were upset
I was so immature yairy, I acted horribly and there is nothing that can excuse the way I acted yairy, Im sorry for the horrible person I was
Im really sorry for the way I acted towards you, Im really sorry yairy for how I talked to you and the way I treated you
I never meant to treat you the way I did yairy. Since then I have condemned myself for the way I acted. Why would I treat you horribly if I want us
I want you back because I feel like we were meant to be yairy, I just cannot forget about you no matter what yairy
I honestly tried to know how it feels yairy, I tried to put myself onto your shoes, Im sorry if I may got it wrong yairy
Im sorry if I didnt answer before, I had an exam today so I tried to calm down and study, im sorry
Im sorry for the times where i did not gave you the attention you deserve, for the times I acted mean and for the times I acted like an idiot
Im sorry yairy for being a ldiot, Im sorry if I couldnt even do the simplest thing in the world. I never meant to hurt you
I will always be there just in case, I hope you feel better yairy, you know I will always wish you the best. Im sorry and goodbye
Im sorry if I bothered you, I never meant to, I came to this site trying to find a way to solve this, to talk maybe. Im sorry tho, I wont do it again
I dont think there is something I could do that have to be stopped yairy, I dont really want to do anything anymore. i'll leave you alone now
I dont know what you mean by free, if I feel free? from what, I used the word trapped to reefer how a problem made me feel in terms of solution
Im no one to talk about maturity and im no one to even talk to you. And no, you where not worth losing, I want you back but we wont
Im sorry yairy for being irrational, Im sorry if I couldnt even do the simplest thing in the world. I never meant to hurt you.
Just forget about everything I said, you have might misunderstood it and its okay, I will think its my fault bc idk how to say things in a proper way
you know me and yk that I usually pick without bad intentions the worst ways to say things because I dont know how to say things in a proper way
I just hope its not misunderstood
I hope you can understand what I mean yairy. And just in case I didnt tried to be mean or something, It was reflexive
To solve the problem, but from the root
Demostrated enough to make you know that there is no one else that is worth your primary position in my life, to cure your insecurity
I know we are not fully adults but I think of how adults would solve it and I imagine a conversation where love is demostrated enough
I know how that made you feel but, was there any way I could've proved it to you? Bc we have grown and I think that is the most mature way to solve
although I did and I tried to I failed because im pathetic. But is that the solution?, to get rid of people instead of trying to prove friendship
So my only option was to delete them from my life, a situation that meant showing love demostrating that you meant more than any other.
I felt trapped there because I felt its something that cant depend on me (leaving aside the option of deleting that person from my life)
how could I prove to you my intentions with other people in a way you could be secure to know they were just friends
because deleting them didnt meant to make you secure, It just meant that there was no solution, like shooting myself over a math problem
I really wanted to do better, I wanted to make you feel secure but how, I never found a way that didnt meant erasing people from my life
I did wanted to change I told you many times I wanted to be better, I really wanted to but im pathetic. I wanted to make you know how much i loved you
when I cant sleep and Im still awake late up at night I fantasize about us re encountering years later
do you sometimes wish you never meet me
You dont have to answer any of this, I just want you to know how I still feel about this
I feel sick to my stomach when I think of you and check on you, Its something I cant even control, I shouldnt feel like that but i do
I dont want to forget you but If this is what life is going to be (without you) why cant I move on. Im chained to you, like, my mind is tied to you
maybe It was the best for both, but why cant I just forget you, why do I cant stop thinking about you
I know you want to know that you haunt me, And you do haunt me day and night, I know this is my punishment. Your absence is a punishment for me
Im not happy, Im not surrounded by people I love. I never loved no one else than you
I genuinely miss you
I did not wait to make it happen, It just did, I know she made you deeply insecure but you just said it, She is just a friend and she will be a friend
I dont know if its okay to but I do miss you and I think of you so much, Its like revealing a weakness, Its something I try to avoid
I do not seek to have anything with anyone else, I told you I will wait
just to remind and just in case, she is just a friend, and she will be a friend, i do not want you to misunderstand
I know the best thing I can do is to bury you deep in my soul and leave you completely alone
So you can feel peace
Im sorry If I may be invasive with you, If I check on you every time I can. I will try not to so I can leave you alone. Its not a promise but Ill try
I will forever be there for you in case of anything happens. I wish you the best and I will wait for you my whole life
I know this will no longer be possible and Its ok. I honestly understand It completely. Its difficult to accept but there will always be consequences
I get it and Im sorry for everything I did wrong. You know guilt will haunt me forever and that is a punishment I have to face besides your absence
Almost everything on this world makes me lead my thoughts back to you and that makes It so difficult
I hate that no matter how hard I try to distract myself from you I just can't and Im tired to pretend that I can and that Im okay
Its my fault and I will always know it. I guess I shouldn't miss you but I do and I hate that
And I know the best thing I can do is to bury my thoughts about you deep in my soul until death takes them away
I still think about you everyday and I have to admit that I have tried not to but Its impossible. I do miss you but I know this is better for both.
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